Adichie only used the word "equality" when describing her feminist
friend. I did not understand her to be looking for equality. Rather I
thought she was 1) voicing her frustration with how Nigerian men and
women accept and/or impose stereotypical ideas about womanhood and 2)
she wants nigerian men and women to acknowledge that women are just as
capable of self-reliance or leadership as men. This is not quite the
same as demanding to be equal to men. kzs
On Dec 13, 4:48 pm, Lavonda Staples <lrstap...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Ikhide,
> I want to agree with your mother;. I'm going to believe you about Ms.
> Adichie's personal life. I'm also going to let this one go because her
> comments are even now more perplexing to me. My comments were NOT
> relative to being married in Nigeria. If you go back an re-read and use
> your glasses (smile - it's not that serious) my statements were in the
> following vein: be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.
>
> The statements from the article, again, to reiterate, are not just echoes -
> they are the exact words used by Black and White women during the movement
> for equality (ERA circa 1972, 1974). Additionally, women were included
> as minorities in the Equal Opportunity legislation (first folded into the
> Equal Access to Public Accommodations - Civil Rights Act of 1964). My
> original comments were cautionary and I stand by those comments,
> as if my feet were in cement, whether or not Ms. Adichie or Mrs. Somebody is
> married or not - if she is married, she is asking questions to which she
> already knows the answers. If it turns out you are wrong and she is
> not married - the questions are not understandable because of her age. She
> should know better by now.
>
> As for being married in Nigeria. Once again, I don't know Nigeria from
> anything. All I'm saying and all I will continue to say to my African
> sisters is the following (and I ain't smiling no more):
> Our pleas for equality in the home, have, in part, left us with that
> equality and with a majority of single-ness as well. We are not happier.
> We report illegitimacy to 73%. After the 1970's Black American women,
> for the first time reported in increasing numbers to centers for
> rehabilitation from drugs and alcohol. Our pursuit of wealth has given us
> skewed numbers - holding 70 percent of the over 500 billion dollars Black
> Americans
> generate while simultaneously having 30 to 40 percent of us in economic
> peril (poverty). We hold 70 percent of advanced degrees and we support our
> grown sons economically. Black American men number
> roughly 20 million and 10 percent of that total is in probation, prison or
> parole.
>
> So you see, there's a whole lot more behind my statements of caution. I
> don't want Africans women to EVER have to wear the bata of Black American
> women. You all have maintained something phenomenal
> in a world of societal chaos. You still have an acceptable order in
> family. You are able to give direction and demand an expectation(s) in your
> chldren. In my opinion, you all have more respect for your
> spouse's ability to perform the role of spouse, something we lost in my 95
> year old grandmother's age.
>
> Ms. Adichie/Mrs. Adichie is casting herself in the same role as rich White
> women did in the seventies. Sitting around talking about equality of gender
> when their situations were NOTHING like any average woman. In her
> public capacity, her public musings are dangerous, very dangerous. That
> doesn't mean that I feel that she shouldn't be allowed to speak - it means
> that I, as a descendant of the "first" Americans - will not let her get a
> "get out of jail free" card when she makes very irresponsible statements.
>
> Now, I gotta go cook and do my laundry.
>
> La Vonda
>
>
>
> On Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 3:32 PM, Ikhide <xoki...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > "When the experiences shared evidences that the speaker knows or has
> > experienced very little actual experience on the subject. Ms. Adichie, to
> > this date, has never been married and has no husband."
>
> > - Lavonda Staples
>
> > Actually, Ms. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is married, and has a husband ;-) I
> > am not sure how that experience or the lack of it denies her the right or
> > the competence to talk about the state of relationships between men and
> > women. There is plenty to take issues with in Adichie's piece; that, I guess
> > is the point of the essay - Let's have a conversation about this. She was
> > not doing comparative studies about the difference between women's plight in
> > Nigeria versus America. She was talking about her experience in Nigeria. And
> > it is not something to sneeze at. My mother would tell you that, if she
> > could write like Adichie. She once visited me here in America and after
> > watching the dynamics between me and my lover, she exclaimed: "Ah, my son,
> > this is how to be married! In America, women are in charge! In my next life,
> > I am marrying in America!" She who wears the bata knows where it pinches. I
> > have nothing to say to Adichie; she has told her story, who am I to tell her
> > where it hurt?
>
> > Be well.
>
> > - Ikhide
>
> > ------------------------------
> > *From:* Lavonda Staples <lrstap...@gmail.com>
> > *To:* usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
> > *Sent:* Mon, December 13, 2010 10:55:33 AM
> > *Subject:* Re: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
>
> > Chambi,
>
> > And excuse me Mr. African Man, what in the hell does a degree have to do
> > with life?
>
> > *"How can sharing one's experience be inexperience?" *
> > When the experiences shared evidences that the speaker knows or has
> > experienced very little actual experience on the subject. Ms. Adichie, to
> > this date, has never been married and has no husband.
>
> > *This is someone who has also lived in the US so she knows something about
> > the over-celebrated independence of African American women.*
> > Living ain't being.
>
> > *Morever, she does not have to superimpose her experience in Nigeria with
> > that in/from the US.*
> > I never said that. I only meant that she is saying the same things,
> > requesting the same freedoms as women in the US espoused in the '60s and
> > '70s. A similar request might receive a similar outcome.
>
> > *By the way, the history of African women in Nigeria does not have to
> > follow a linear progression from that of African American women in the US -
> > how can one even insinuate that the former are where the latter where 30
> > years ago?*
> > But what about the history of Nigerian women when they join their husband's
> > in America? What happens to the rate of divorce of Nigerians in America?
> > My friend, does the marriage rate stay the same or does the rate of divorce
> > go up, up, up and away?
>
> > *"Chimamanda was a Hodder fellow at Princeton University during the
> > 2005-2006 academic year, and earned an MA in African Studies from Yale
> > University in 2008". *
> > Why does an African need an American institution to co-sign the fact that
> > she has learned a little something about Africa?
>
> > *When one reads her interviews on how she wrote Half of a Yellow Sun, what
> > keeps coming up is an image of a writer/novelist who does a lot of
> > historical research. *
> > A real writer can only tell you of how their life led them to write this or
> > that. Relating to someone, in a nuts and bolts, scientific fashion, the
> > details of how you wrote a book is no different than relating to someone the
> > details of how you made love. If it can be explained in a trial and error
> > fashion (scientific method) my friend you didn't make love, it was not
> > creative or passionate force, you had sex - something which every dog and
> > cat does in every alley every day.
>
> > La Vonda
>
> > On Sun, Dec 12, 2010 at 5:29 PM, Chambi Chachage <chamb...@yahoo.com>wrote:
>
> >> I disagree. . Does she need to study African American History to
> >> know more about power? I don't think so. According to
> >>http://www.l3.ulg.ac.be/adichie/cnabio.html, ------
> >> *My mission is to acquire, produce and disseminate knowledge on and about
> >> humanity as well as divinity, especially as it relates to Africa, in a
> >> constructive and liberating manner to people wherever they may be.*
> >> -------
> >> *Address*: P. O. Box 4460 Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania
> >> *Cell *: + 255 754771763/+ 255 718953273
> >> *Blog*:http://udadisi.blogspot.com/
> >> -------
>
> >> ------------------------------
> >> *From:* Lavonda Staples <lrstap...@gmail.com>
> >> *To:* usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
> >> *Sent:* Sun, December 12, 2010 6:42:20 AM
> >> *Subject:* Re: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
>
> >> First and foremost, I read the whole thing. I read it again and I was
> >> even wearing my glasses.
>
> >> I love Ms. Adichie's work. I love her writing. But I wish she would
> >> study African American history.
>
> >> My comments are not relative to her political aspirations but pertain to
> >> her statements about power.
>
> >> Her statements were made and followed about 30 years ago by women who
> >> looked like her but lived in another country.
>
> >> Now, in that other country, the husbands no longer pay the rent.
>
> >> The men are no longer husbands.
>
> >> The women have the absolute freedom to never marry at all.
>
> >> No one asks these women when are they going to get married.
>
> >> Oh, yeah, they did manage to get elected mayor and even Secretary of
> >> State.
>
> >> Ms. Adichie has caused me to feel very old. I can see the genius in her
> >> writing. I can hear the inexperience in her words.
>
> >> La Vonda
>
> >> On Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 3:53 PM, Funmi Tofowomo Okelola <
> >> cafeafrica...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> >>> Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
> >>> By Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
> >>> Published: December 10 2010 19:29 | Last updated: December 10 2010 19:29
> >>> A humid night two years ago, sitting beside a male friend in his car,
> >>> and I roll down my window to tip a young man, one of the thousands of
> >>> unemployed young men in Lagos who hang around, humorous and resourceful, and
> >>> help you park your car with the expectation of a tip. I brought the money
> >>> from my bag. He took it with a grateful smile. Then he looked at my friend
> >>> and said, "Thank you, sir!"
>
> >>> This is what it is to be youngish (early thirties) and female in urban
> >>> Nigeria. You are driving and a policeman stops you and either he is leering
> >>> and saying "fine aunty, I will marry you," or he is sneering, with a taunt
> >>> in his demeanour and the question so heavy in the air that it need not be
> >>> asked: "which man bought this car for you and what did you have to do to get
> >>> him
>
> ...
>
> read more »
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