Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Re: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Ikhide and Pope, I Beg Help Us?

"Malvolio" is all I keep thinking of; not quite sure why ...

Kayode




On 24 September 2013 15:50, Biko Agozino <bikozino@yahoo.com> wrote:
Ikhide complains a lot about the poor design of the websites of some Nigerian Universities and Pius complains about imperfect shower heads in Nigeria and Ghana. Here is job for the self-professed African Super Minds - Shakara Ikhide, cycling away while Africa is dumbed down, and the most superior Pope with a swagger:

Please visit the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology, Kumasi, Ghana, and 'enjoy' the welcome message from the Vice Chancellor, a certain professor Otio. If you think that the welcoming message could use some editing, wait until you visit the homepage of the Department of Sociology and Social Work: http://archive.knust.edu.gh/pages/index.php?siteid=sociology 

The university claims to have been founded in 1951 (older than almost all universities in Nigeria), it is named after one of the greatest sons of Africa, it actively advertises for students to apply for admission from Nigeria, it collaborates with top-notch institutions internationally, and it claims to be among Africa's best universities. Ikhide and Pius should please help them to edit the grammar on their website or help them rewrite everything in broken English if they prefer. Better still, they have job vacancies for lecturers and you should consider applying there so that you can show 'yeye' ASUU members in Nigeria how to be excellent intellectuals.

'Pope', I beg sit down and do some editing to earn your keep because you have just been hand-picked and appointed as a Diaspora Visiting Fellow to help develop African Universities but without any call for competitive fellowship proposals. When asked why a Nigerian was being posted to Ghana for your fellowship, the Nigerian director of the program at an international foundation claimed that his foundation already works with three Nigerian universities (two in the North and one in the West but none in the East which incidentally leads the country in the education industry, some meritocracy there). Oga moderator, I beg hold your hammer, this is not another Igbo-Yoruba wahala, I am just saying....

The first essay from our Diaspora Fellow for the exposure of lack of perfection in African Universities (as if there is perfection anywhere) was a comparison of hotel shower flows in Nigeria and Ghana where the burning desire of our Canada-based expert was to have a hot shower in Africa. No kidding. He said that he was only interested in perfection and so even if nine in ten shower heads were working in Nigeria and Nigeria (never counted shower head flows with my mediocre mind), he had the right to make a fuss and show the hotel staff who was a big man even if that risked a spit or a piss in his room service, he bragged. No kidding either. According to our effico expat, the Nigerian 'engineer' with whom he bonded through broken English could not understand his gra-gra about a shower that worked well-well while his Ghanaian counter-part understood this perfectly in Queen's English.

So Ghana must be superior to Nigeria in shower head maintenance and 'the most popular African public intellectual' must be superior enough to all African professors to be hand-picked without due process and transparency but I doubt that shower heads analysis is his main job description. I extend many congratulations to Ghana, to the  superior expert and to the international foundation for recognizing the need to reap some brain gain from our brain drain because, as one poem puts it: 'brain for drain no better pass brain drain'. All I am saying is that the year-long fellowship should, at the very least, be spent editing illiterate web messages on the websites of some African Universities rather than on navel-gazing at the perfection of shower heads for hot showers in the above 100 degrees temperatures of West Africa, important as that may be as a 'metaphor for perfection'. 

Biko

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