NIGERIAN ONION, January 12, 2016: The Nigerian Feds, in an uncommon show of transparency and citizen awareness, has created a CBN-TSA-Remitax account 101110202 into which all international and domestic loot recovered from corrupt individuals and companies effective January 1, 2016 is to be paid until further notice. Nigerian citizens can also retrieve the balance in the account by sending the SMS "LooT" (case sensitive) to the any of the following numbers, xxxx - NGN - LOOT (xxxx - 989-1006) where XXXX is the prefix of any of the ten networks of your choice (eg 0803, 0805, etc.) - applicable texting costs apply. You will receive an alert every time the balance changes after the first time you send a message. You can also send email to lootnigeria@gmail.com with the Subject "Please give loot balance" with body having "Loot balance" only (not case sensitive).
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