"That was before the white man came with his wahala, declaring African men savages because they don't coo "I love you!" to their wives. In Chukwuemeka Ike's The Potter's Wheel, the character, Obu, declares his love for Margaret by giving her six plump sautéed delicacies he had caught under a lamp post. They were thoughtfully wrapped in the sports section of the Daily Times. You should have seen the "I go love you die, Obu!" look in Margaret's eyes. Did the white man see great romance here? Nope! He observed two savages initiating a courtship with six plump termites. Obu and Margaret had no idea they were eating termites. This was in 1946.
...Mazi Uche hates baths, certainly not with another person. Mazi Uche is a real chief; a titled chief must not be seen naked by a mere mortal. That is why he refuses sex in the daytime; it is taboo according to the gods of his ancestors.
Mazi Uche and Nkechi are now divorced – irreconcilable differences. Nkechi is now happily married to a 32-year-old American pediatrician, a fawning woman wrapper who treats her like a goddess. We hear they take baths together and he reads Neruda to her nonstop, tufiakwa! His lovemaking lasts longer than that of a randy elephant, we hear. And he does magical things with whipped cream. Mazi Uche is suing Nkechi for all the money he paid for her medical degrees while he was slaving in America, driving cabs and fully expecting to be shot by a thug looking for money to buy chocolates and whipped cream for his baby mama. "
On Mon, Apr 2, 2012 at 10:21 AM, Ikhide <xokigbo@yahoo.com> wrote:
--Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart is the most romantic novel ever in the history of mankind. Tears run down my cheeks whenever I remember the only love scene in the book. It lasted exactly 30 seconds; from when Okonkwo swept his bride into his arms, to the glorious end when he growled, "Oya go cook peppersoup or I will use your skull to drink palmwine!" Achebe's famous words are engraved in the canon of great literature: "Even in those days, Okonkwo was a man of few words."- IkhideStalk my blog at www.xokigbo.comFollow me on Twitter: @ikhideJoin me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/ikhide
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