"Othello" is a great Opera. Paul Robeson once played the part designed
for that extraordinary emotion which in Swedish is called "
Svartsjuk" - "the black illness" : jealousy, which after all is a
universal emotion ( therefore Sotah) but said to be specially
pronounced/excessive in the darker species, therefore the BLACK
illness. So when Sir Laurence Olivier played the part, he hung out
with Black people ( mostly West Indians) in London, to study and
inculcate (Stanislavski method) some of our emotional attributes. This
accounts for some of the melodrama that we see in his acting – not in
the Burbage delivery of his lines......I've seen the performance
several times....a quite exaggerated you and me. But that's the scene
and the screen for you, to make a person " bigger than life"
http://www.google.com/search?q=Othello
So today, Bigger Thomas stands in front of Her Majesty's magistrate
at the Old Bailey, charged with assault and battery, and causing "
grievous bodily harm" to a female. Her Majesty's magistrate (male or
female) hallucinates the image of Othello which is now planted deep in
his psyche as the representative image of the Black Man and he is
therefore readily disposed to conclude that "The lustful Negro must
have done it" ...with extra lust for " the forbidden fruit" ....
It's the same thing when the innocent Negro is charged with rape –
especially of a white woman. On the day of the trial she turns up
wearing a short skirt covering an ashasha looking like the back side
of Monica Lewinsky, and the male members of the jury, drooling at
the lascivious sight even before any evidence is presented, have
already arrived at the irreversible conclusion that "The Negro must
have done it" because perhaps irresistibly, nobody in sight, from
their own point of view it would look like a good idea, if it were to
be delivered to them, on a platter
And if the Negro is looking humble and grieved ,they think he is now
hanging his head in shame and regret.
If he is looking confident and defiant, they think, "What the cheek
he's not even trying to look meek ! In spite of being guilty, see how
arrogant and unrepentant he looks" - and he will probably get an even
stiffer sentence.
No matter how he looks, he can't win.
I 've seen this happen to various friends from various countries of
Africa, here in Sweden.
Today, we do not want to see the Wigwe family drama as reported, being
reduced to a Nollywood soap opera 4U2Laff. We are talking about an
honourable Nigeria ambassador who has hitherto served his country
well ; throughout his trials and tribulations that he has acquainted
us with there is no mention of wife-beating nor does she accuse him of
such, - until now - and we are to presume his innocence until should
he (Heaven forbid) be found guilty.
A question we must ask is " Why would the Mrs. Wigwe in question want
to kill the goose that's laying the golden eggs? "
Ambassador Wigwe has given us the answer.
Dr. Wigwe & the whole world is aware of the problem of domestic
violence mostly perpetrated by men on women and also by women on men
( 40%?) and by parents – both women and men - on their children, and
in some parts of the world where it's called "corporal punishment" by
teachers, both male and female, on their students, tiny tot, young or
old.... and in my opinion the latter system of punishment in part,
accounts for the long, post-colonial history of brutality in some
parts of Africa (daily mass rape in Eastern Congo still on-going) and
accounts for some element of brutality being so readily acceptable by
many Africans who were subject to such punishments themselves and
consequently have thought that it's legal fare and a good way of
maintaining discipline, winning an argument, or solving a problem
whether in the Ivory Coast, the Sudan, Libya or Pakistan, it's the
philosophy of " Spare the rod and spoil the child" and it's said and
sung that with the US as parent, pastor and world Sheriff, it's, "Send
the Marines !":
http://www.google.se/search?q=Send+the+Marines
We (men) are in solidarity with women ( mothers, lovers,
daughters,wives) who may be on the receiving end – it is not a
coincidence that in our part of Africa, Prince Nico Mbarga's "Sweet
Mother" is the most popular African music piece of all time: this is
so because it strikes a chord in everyone of us – men and women who
have come into existence through woman – therefore exalt mother-hood.
http://www.google.com/search?q=Sweet+Mother
Therefore it is expected that we respect our wives, womenfolk , as we
respect our mothers.
At the start of the Sabbath - before the Sabbath meal, " Eshet
Chayil" ( Proverbs 31 that Dr. Etuk mentions) the alphabetically
arranged eulogy that our Patriarch Abraham composed on behalf of our
Matriarch Sarah is recited. Proverbs 31 was incorporated by King
Solomon as part of the closing chapter of Proverbs. "This hymn extols
the way virtues of the Jewish wife and mother who sets the tone of
Shabbos and in the home and family":
As the saying goes, "He who feels it knows" and as Dr. Emma Etuk -
justifiably angry - has so insightfully pointed out, the new
vociferous and aggressive strain of militant African feminists who
"find solace in using (the power of ) vagina to torture men and expect
them not to fight back", should know that it is not all men that are
willing to take it, lying down.
So, let's be reasonable here, not merely sentimental, emotional,
romantic, tearful or reeling in pain and being vindictive. Although
the discussion has now moved from the specific to the general, I would
like to return to the case at hand: yes, everyone knows that there's a
general wife-beating, a "temporary insanity" battering & bruising and
perhaps this is what Mrs Wigwe has exploited, in the belief that her
story will be easily believed, because wife-beating is a widespread
phenomenon. But what has she done this time which she has not done a
thousand times before? What excess is it that she is supposed to have
committed that broke the camel's back this time? That too is a
question.
http://www.google.com/search?q=Crime+of+passion
Professor Tunde Zack-Williams raises two pertinent questions which
the church, the Mosque and the Nigerian Federal Ministry of Women
Affairs and Social Development should address.
The questions:
"if the wife was suffering from mental illness, as
he hinted in his rationalisation, why did he not seek psychiatric help
for
her. Furthermore, if the marriage had broken down, is divorce not
available
under traditional African law?"
This is where Family Counselling should help - adjusted to the
cultural context of course.
As Professor Zack-Williams knows, in a country like Sierra Leone,
there is only one psychiatrist in the whole country ( Dr. Nahim) and
some say that because of the strain and stresses of the workload this
poor man has to bear, he himself might be in need of some treatment,
without even being aware of this. And to some extent, the treatment –
for witchcraft or whatever, would have to be culture-dependent.
http://www.google.com/search?q=Family+Counselling
Dr. Etuk also observes that, "She went public instead of following the
African traditional means of conflict resolution. She did not complain
to the parents and family of Dr. Wigwe. She took matters into her own
hands. " This is an essential difference between European life and
life in Africa: in Sweden divorce can be almost instantaneous once
tempers flare or it has got to the point of "enough is enough" - the
wide range of Swedes that I know do not make personal domestic
problems a bigger family affair with consultations with parents and
their familial extensions sitting on the judgement seat. They take
matters into their own hands.
Another difference is that in Africa , on the whole the woman tends to
be subjugated to the man on whom she is usually economically dependent
to the extent that she is reluctant to bite the hand that feeds her.
Even here in Sweden, African immigrants have been known to marry
African women who upon becoming economically independent have tended
to " take matters into their own hands" and deserted their African
husbands, to live life in "freedom" & without any husbandly
supervision, taken over his house / apartment since the law seems to
favour women.
This has tended to result in alcohol problems and sometimes suicide
for the poor men.
Over here, when a man commits suicide it's usually about money or
woman.
If there had been no wife beating? No wife beating at all, say in
Nigeria? Then the women would have taken over completely long ago –
and we would have had the first Female president of Nigeria some Lady
Ngozi, type, from day one. Goodluck himself would not have stood a
chance, except perhaps to be the man, the " boy-child" power behind
the First Lady's throne, with the First Lady as his President, in
control of the purse strings of course, and perhaps her sister Mrs.
Wigwe or Lavonda Staples as her Chancellor of the Exchequer.
And in Ghana the Markola Market Mammy (the usual economic power behind
the throne/ political power) would have also taken over long ago.
Hopefully, we are not societies -in-transition to polyandry of the
sort that (survival of the fittest) masculine man could have to
succumb to as they look back in nostalgia and update the history of
once upon a time, in African Patriarchal societies. This is likely to
happen once the Freedom March of the Militant Feminists and Lesbians
achieve their objectives. As Fela complains
" Lady nah Master,"Lady na Master.!
"She go say him equal to man
She go say him get power like man
She go say anything man do
Him self fit do
I never tell you finish… (3x)
I never tell you…
She go want take cigar before anybody
She go want make you open door for am
She go want make man wash plate for her for kitchen
She want salute man she go sit down for chair (2x)
She want sit down for table before anybody (2x)
She want piece of meat before anybody (2x)
Call am for dance, she go dance Lady dance (2x)"
And the ideal, "Sweet mother" holy mother, picture:
"She know him man nah Master
She go cook for am
She go do anything he say ..."
http://www.google.com/search?q=Fela+%3A+Lady
Mark my words: it's in the pipe-line: after the Arab Spring, you will
have the Muslim women in that area rearing their heads and women's
Liberation and feminism in Islam will be the next new thing. And the
Muslim men won't be taking it lying down. Some will have to sing and
beg for their supper after the fuse of The Muslims' women Lib is
lit.
May the Almighty help us all : the Dr. Wigwes, you, me.
On Jun 8, 6:01 pm, Iheoma Obibi <iheomaob...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> I have read this thread and really stunned by the responses to Dr Wigwe's
> diatribe and that of his son, who is really stuck between two warring parents.
> However, we are a people that love the pretence of marriage and apperances
> rather than happiness and therefore not surprised by the response of our
> intellectual elite. It is always the woman's fault.
>
> Let me begin by adding that I am the daughter of the survior of domestic
> violence and when I read the Dr's response it took me back to a time that I
> thought I had forgotten and if we are all honest, there are others on this list
> who are too pained to respond. The excuses for why my mother was battered
> serially from my earliest memories included being the devil, she was a bad
> woman, she had a boyfriend (really, they all say it), she is selfish, greedy,
> does not behave like a true igbo woman, yada, yada. My mother survived because
> her father and uncles decided that enough was enough (after several family
> meetings, discussions, broken agreements you name it) and took their daughter
> back with all her kids. Otherwise, my mother would still be there today, making
> excuses for a bad marriage and a sorry ass husband.
>
> All am saying is this, some of our men have anger management issues and no
> amount of family intervention, negotiation, submissiveness, being the good wife
> can way lay the volcano within. Added to this is the notion of marriage and how
> it is constructed in our cultural setting and all the baggage that comes with
> it. Once married we as women are expected to loose our identity and become one
> with someone who may or not be on the same emotional and planning page with you.
> If you raise issues he deems as unsuitable he just might hit you because YOU
> raised it and not him. It's a complex situation affected by our cultural norms
> and values.
>
> Dr Wigwe clearly has beaten his wife before and his diatribe illustrates that he
> sees no problem with it - even expressed by their son in his response.
>
> We all need to know that wife battery in our cultural milieu is two a penny as
> Igbo women. I see women who have been married for barely three weeks and they
> are being battered from the onset and their families are telling them, to
> "manage it, they are not the only ones".
>
> My two pennies worth, this woman cannot be a she devil as Dr Wigwe claims
> because the story is familiar to those of us whose mother's have been battered.
> The story never changes just the characters.
>
> --------------------------------------------
> Iheoma Obibi
> Executive Director & ASHOKA Fellow
> Alliances for Africa
>
> Mobile: + 234 803 302 0779
> Int' mobile: + 44 7713 401454
>
> Skype: iheomaobibihttp://www.alliancesforafrica.org
>
> ________________________________
> From: "Oyedeji, Kale" <koyed...@morehouse.edu>
> To: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
> Sent: Wed, 8 June, 2011 15:55:48
> Subject: RE: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Re: I believe Dr. Wigwe
>
> Ikhide, there is nothing academic in your response below. You could make your
> points without those derogatory generalisations. You can ask around, I
> definitely do not belong in the group of "serial wife abusers". What you just
> wrote shows a man that is angry with the rest of the world. It is amazing to me
> that you are writing as if you knew this family and you were present at every
> episode of the family dispute. Why must everybody see things your way? Why must
> you call anybody with opposing view names? You wrote "Every one of you who just
> found time to respond egging on wife beaters and children abusers should be
> ashamed of yourselves." Why should I be ashamed of myself for expressing my
> view? You are the one that should be ashamed of yourself for your intolerance of
> opposing view. Some of my children live in Maryland with you, you can ask them
> what type of father I have been to them. Ofcourse you may not believe them. Ask
> them also how I treat their mother. You have met me, I am not a savage man, by
> the standard definition, ofcourse, you have your own definition, so I have
> nothing to hide.
>
> 'Kale Oyedeji
>
> From:usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
> [mailto:usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of Ikhide
> Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 10:09 AM
> To: USAAfricaDialogue@googlegroups.com
> Subject: Re: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Re: I believe Dr. Wigwe
>
> Our people,
>
> Why am I not shocked by the savagery displayed in the responses by many on this
> issue in this forum? Why am I not surprised? Because these are the men and their
> friends, serial wife abusers like "General" Olusegun Obasanjo who misrule much
> of Black Africa today. Women and children are their punching bags, every day.
> Yes, I am expected to say the usual patronizing clap trap about how not every
> Nigerian man is a wife beater as if we are supposed to thank them and give them
> medals for not crunching up their wives and children. People are writing and
> behaving like sabages in suits. Every one of you who just found time to respond
> egging on wife beaters and children abusers should be ashamed of yourselves.
> There is nothing African in what is happening all over Nigeria today: Women and
> children are being abused as they toil under a society that is paternalistic in
> the worst way.
>
>
> What you have all just witnessed is intellectual dishonesty. They have read that
> disgrace of a response - that shows up what "Chief" "Dr." Wigwe really is - an
> abusive sniveling possibly crooked official (all those Rolexes, all those trips
> ferrying the son's girlfriends back and forth, and whatsup with the bizarre
> statement about the wife having a boyfriend from the "Yoruba tribe"?) buffoon.
> They know that no lawyer would have allowed such an incoherent incriminating
> rant to see the light of day. From she poured ketchup on herself, "the Ketchup
> Defense" under worldwide outrage, he changed his tune to a tree in our bedroom
> hit her" and now Ms. Lavonda Staples has come up with bizzarre babblespeak about
> what I have absolutely no idea. I am not even going to go there today, life is
> too short jare. The son weighs in, taking a break from playing video games and
> counting his Rolex watches, he writes nonsense about well, there was not a lot
> of blood and why, it is not as if she was paralyzed by the incident. What a
> family. m
>
> You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. When the DSK issue came up, we were
> all jumping up and down trying to outdo ourselves, yelling racism, etc, our own
> sister is bludgeoned and there was quiet everywhere, in "Africa" men can do as
> they please and if a woman is mauled it is her fault, na pms, na witchcraft,
> etc, etc. Why, the Father of all these Serial Abusers , Aremu Obasanjo is a
> world "statesman." If Obasanjo was a white man he would be a statesman in
> prison. We call that reverse racism.
>
>
> So now, we have a new defense: The woman deserved whatever happened to her.
> Shame on all of you savages who feel this way. I have said it over and over:
> Africa's continuing demise is as a result of her intellectuals dishonesty. And I
> repeat it today.
>
>
> I ask you: Is this man fit to be the ambassador of a hut? Is this man and his
> family fit to be envoys of any nation that takes herself seriously?
>
> What is African about marital and child abuse? I have news for all of you: With
> these cave men attitudes of yours, do not come to America. If you draw blood and
> the Police is called, you will be arrested and sent straight to jail. And you
> deserve to be in there. And if you are a public official, you lose your job
> immediately, as you should. This has nothing to do with whether she deserves it
> because she did not serve you water to wash your hands before eating eba, this
> has to do with the law. The law serves to provide clarity to issues ike this: No
> hitting, absolutely no hitting. I mean, all we do is mimic parts of laws that we
> want, we want the pleasures, we don't want the work. And who gives a damn what
> the bible says; the holy books are great works of fiction designed by men to
> control women, children and slaves. And they spread bigotry and prejudice to
> boot.
>
> A snake is in the house; we are babbling crap about how not all snakes are
> poisonous, blah, blah, blah! You people are just too much!
>
> - Ikhide
>
>
>
>
>
> From:"Oyedeji, Kale" <koyed...@morehouse.edu>
> To: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 8, 2011 8:12 AM
> Subject: RE: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Re: I believe Dr. Wigwe
> I am a father and with a daughter in her thirties, so I have a taste of
> feminism, especially when she got to college. I have also seen how some
> feminist groups helped to wrongly put African men in jail. I have seen how some
> immigration lawyers, in desperate efforts to save their clients from
> deportation, have turned some culture on its head to portray African men as the
> worst human beings God had ever created. So, reading through Ms. Staples'
> write-up, I didn't see anything disingenuous in what she had to say. She never
> gave any percentage to characterise the number of people she referred to. I
> admire her sincerity and candour in presenting her case. Ms. Joan.Osa Oviawe
> could make her case for some percentage of African women that fit her
> description. True, there are a lot of African women capable of setting their own
> standards, but there are those also that are incapable of doing the same;
> especially the younger generation that come to the US at tender ages. Ms. Oviawe
> can not deny the fact that some African immigrants, not just women alone, are
> influenced by the rhetoric western media. This is not only true in the US but in
> some African countries where western culture is most preferred. Ms. Oviawe,
> people that still have respect for their culture fit into your description "…
> they have now elected to discard the wise counsel of their mothers,
> grandmothers, aunties and elders for the eternal words of wisdom of Oprah." Most
> are even ashamed of their culture.
> ...
>
> read more »
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