for that extraordinary emotion which in Swedish is called "
Svartsjuk" - "the black illness" : jealousy, which after all is a
universal emotion ( therefore Sotah) but said to be specially
pronounced/excessive in the darker species, therefore the BLACK
illness. So when Sir Laurence Olivier played the part, he hung out
with Black people ( mostly West Indians) in London, to study and
inculcate (Stanislavski method) some of our emotional attributes. This
accounts for some of the melodrama that we see in his acting – not in
the Burbage delivery of his lines......I've seen the performance
several times....a quite exaggerated you and me. But that's the scene
and the screen for you, to make a person " bigger than life"
http://www.google.com/search?q=Othello
So today, Bigger Thomas stands in front of Her Majesty's magistrate
at the Old Bailey, charged with assault and battery, and causing "
grievous bodily harm" to a female. Her Majesty's magistrate (male or
female) hallucinates the image of Othello which is now planted deep in
his psyche as the representative image of the Black Man and he is
therefore readily disposed to conclude that "The lustful Negro must
have done it" ...with extra lust for " the forbidden fruit" ....
It's the same thing when the innocent Negro is charged with rape –
especially of a white woman. On the day of the trial she turns up
wearing a short skirt covering an ashasha looking like the back side
of Monica Lewinsky, and the male members of the jury, drooling at
the lascivious sight even before any evidence is presented, have
already concluded that " The Negro must have done it" because perhaps
irresistibly, nobody in sight, from their own point of view it would
look like a good idea, if it were to be delivered to them, on a
platter
And if the Negro is looking humble and grieved ,they think he is now
hanging his head in shame and regret.
If he is looking confident and defiant, they think, "What the cheek
he's not looking meek ! In spite of being guilty, see how arrogant
and unrepentant he looks" - and he will probably get an even stiffer
sentence.
No matter how he looks, he can't win.
I 've seen this happen to various friends from various countries of
Africa, here in Sweden.
Today, we do not want to see the Wigwe family drama as reported being
reduced to a Nollywood soap opera 4U2Laff. We are talking about an
honourable Nigeria ambassador who has hitherto served his country
well ; throughout his trials and tribulations that he has acquainted
us with there is no mention of wife-beating nor does she accuse him of
such, - until now - and we are to presume his innocence until should
he (Heaven forbid) be found guilty.
A question we must ask is " Why would the Mrs. Wigwe in question want
to kill the goose that's laying the golden eggs?
Ambassador Wigwe has given us the answer.
Dr. Wigwe & the whole world is aware of the problem of domestic
violence mostly perpetrated by men on women and also by women on men
( 40%?) and by parents – both women and men - on their children, and
in some parts of the world where it's called "corporal punishment" by
teachers, both male and female, on their students, tiny tot, young or
old.... and in my opinion the latter system of punishment in part,
accounts for the long, post-colonial history of brutality in some
parts of Africa (daily mass rape in Eastern Congo still on-going) and
accounts for some element of brutality being so readily acceptable by
many Africans who were subject to such punishments and consequently
have thought that it's legal fare and a good way of maintaining
discipline, winning an argument, or solving a problem whether in the
Ivory Coast, the Sudan, Libya or Pakistan, it's the philosophy of "
Spare the rod and spoil the child" and it's said and sung that with
the US as parent, pastor and world Sheriff, it's, "Send the
Marines !":
http://www.google.se/search?q=Send+the+Marines
We (men) are in solidarity with women ( mothers, lovers,
daughters,wives) who may be on the receiving end – it is not a
coincidence that in our part of Africa, Prince Nico Mbarga's "Sweet
Mother" is the most popular African music piece of all time: this is
so because it strikes a chord in everyone of us – men and women who
have come into existence through woman – and therefore exalt mother-
hood.
http://www.google.com/search?q=Sweet+Mother
Therefore it is expected that we respect our wives, womenfolk , as we
respect our mothers.
At the start of the Sabbath - before the Sabbath meal, " Eshet
Chayil" ( Proverbs 31 that Dr. Etuk mentions) the alphabetically
arranged eulogy that our Patriarch Abraham composed on behalf of our
Matriarch Sarah is recited. Proverbs 31 was incorporated by King
Solomon as part of the closing chapter of Proverbs. "This hymn extols
the way virtues of the Jewish wife and mother who sets the tone of
Shabbos and in the home and family":
As the saying goes, "He who feels it knows" and as Dr. Emma Etuk -
justifiably angry - has so insightfully pointed out, the new
vociferous and aggressive strain of militant African feminists who
"find solace in using (the power of ) vagina to torture men and expect
them not to fight back", should know that it is not all men that are
willing to take it, lying down.
So, let's be reasonable here, not merely sentimental, emotional,
romantic, tearful or reeling in pain and being vindictive. Although
the discussion has now moved from the specific to the general, I would
like to return to the case at hand: yes, everyone knows that there's a
general wife-beating, "temporary insanity", battering & bruising and
perhaps this is what Mrs Wigwe has exploited, in the belief that her
story will be easily believed, because wife-beating is a widespread
phenomenon. But what has she done this time which she has not done a
thousand times before? What excess is it that she is supposed to have
committed that broke the camel's back this time? That too is a
question.
http://www.google.com/search?q=Crime+of+passion
Professor Tunde Zack-Williams raises two pertinent questions which
the church, the Mosque and the Nigerian Federal Ministry of Women
Affairs and Social Development should address.
The questions:
"if the wife was suffering from mental illness, as
he hinted in his rationalisation, why did he not seek psychiatric
help for
her. Furthermore, if the marriage had broken down, is divorce not
available
under traditional African law?"
This is where Family Counselling should help - adjusted to the
cultural context of course.
As Professor Zack-Williams knows, in a country like Sierra Leone,
there is only one psychiatrist in the whole country and some say that
because of the strain and stresses of the workload this poor man has
to bear, he himself might be in need of some treatment, without even
being aware of this. And to some extent, the treatment – for
witchcraft or whatever, would have to be culture-dependent.
http://www.google.com/search?q=Family+Counselling
Dr. Etuk also observes that, "She went public instead of following the
African traditional means of conflict resolution. She did not complain
to the parents and family of Dr. Wigwe. She took matters into her own
hands. " This is an essential difference between European life and
life in Africa: in Sweden divorce can be almost instantaneous once
tempers flares or it has got to the point of "enough is enough" - the
wide range of Swedes that I know do not make personal domestic
problems a bigger family affair with consultations with parents and
their familial extensions sitting on the judgement seat. They take
matters into their own hands.
Another difference is that in Africa , on the whole the woman tends to
be subjugated to the man on whom she is usually economically dependent
to the extent that she is reluctant to bite the hand that feeds her.
Even here in Sweden, African immigrants have been known to marry
African women who upon becoming economically independent have tended
to " take matters into their own hands" and deserted their African
husbands, to live life in "freedom" & without any husbandly
supervision, taken over his house / apartment since the law seems to
favour women.
This has tended to result in alcohol problems and sometimes suicide
for the poor men.
Over here, when a man commits suicide it's usually about money or
woman.
If there had been no wife beating? No wife beating at all, say in
Nigeria? Then the women would have taken over completely long ago –
and we would have had the first Female president of Nigeria some Lady
Ngozi, type, from day one. Goodluck himself would not have stood a
chance, except perhaps to be the man, the " boy-child" power behind
the First Lady's throne, with the First Lady as his President, in
control of the purse strings of course, and perhaps her sister Mrs.
Wigwe or Lavonda Staples as her Chancellor of the Exchequer.
And in Ghana the Markola Market Mammy (the usual economic power behind
the throne/ political power) would have also taken over long ago.
And hopefully, we are not societies -n-transition to polyandry of the
sort that ( survival of the fittest) masculine man could have to
succumb to as they look back in nostalgia and update the history of
once upon a time, in African Patriarchal societies. This is likely to
happen once the Freedom March of the Militant Feminists and Lesbians
achieve their objectives. As Fela complains
" Lady nah Master,"Lady na Master.!
"She go say him equal to man
She go say him get power like man
She go say anything man do
Him self fit do
I never tell you finish… (3x)
I never tell you…
She go want take cigar before anybody
She go want make you open door for am
She go want make man wash plate for her for kitchen
She want salute man she go sit down for chair (2x)
She want sit down for table before anybody (2x)
She want piece of meat before anybody (2x)
Call am for dance, she go dance Lady dance (2x)"
And the ideal, "Sweet mother" holy mother, picture:
"She know him man nah Master
She go cook for am
She go do anything he say ..."
http://www.google.com/search?q=Fela+%3A+Lady
Mark my words: it's in the pipe-line: after the Arab Spring, you will
have the Muslim women in that area rearing their heads and women's
Liberation and feminism in Islam will be the next new thing. And the
Muslim men won't be taking it lying down. Some will have to sing and
beg for their supper after the fuse of The Muslims' women Lib is
lit.
May the Almighty help us all : the Dr. Wigwes, you, me.
On Jun 8, 12:41 pm, Ayo Obe <ayo.m.o....@gmail.com> wrote:
> Sweet Maureen, any child who failed to understand or agree that 2nd class status should be assigned or withheld on the basis of gender is a natural feminist. Those of us who fail to have that understanding shaped or conditioned by society or Mrs Goody Two-shoes in Proverbs 31* remain feminists whether we are women or men. It has no more to do with Western ideology than the failure of many black people to understand or agree that they are inferior to whites.
>
> There are obviously many sides to the Wigwe story, but my understanding of his explanation of his wife's injuries was that they were self-inflicted and enhanced with make up or tomato ketchup or something ... I have no idea which of them is telling the truth. I can cite three battered wife cases from personal knowledge (including one where the husband claimed that the wife had deliberately tried to aggravate injuries received in a fight to 'make them look bad') but have only rumour as regards battered husbands. I don't discount it: it is unlikely to be something that a man who is not actually maltreated in public would broadcast to the world.
>
> As to the Wigwes, I got tired reading the sorry story which only left me baffled as to why, with a previous history of his wife being suspended, he thought that the best place to revive their troubled marriage was when he representing the Federal Republic of Nigeria as its High Commissioner in Nairobi. Possibly a triumph of hope over experience. An expensive mistake sha...
>
> Ayo
>
> *This admirable woman is always wheeled out on Mothering Sunday as an example. Unteachable mothers like me consider her to be one of many crosses we have to bear ...
>
> On 8 Jun 2011, at 01:24, "Eke, Maureen Ngozi" <eke...@cmich.edu> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > Dear "E.S. Etuk, Ph.D" of "AWARD-WINNING Author of 14 books" who can not hold his tongue, arrogance and partiality either. I did not claim that I was being objective in my piece. And, my piece simply states that Dr. Wigwe's narrative cannot be read as "nothing but the truth." Do you really know what objectivity and self disclosure are? Why not clean up your nose before picking mine!
>
> > Yes, men are abused and even killed by women. Men have also been raped by other men and possibly women. All of these are violations which no one in their right mind should accept. So, you want to tell me that because a man has been verbally or psychologicaly battered, he has the right to beat up his wife or another woman. By the way, one form or level of abuse does not become the correction for another. I abhor violence of any kind regardless of who experiencs it.
>
> > You are angry and so you have chosen to resort to the very attitude about which I spoke--name calling and vilification.
>
> > Listen to your very own language:
> > "women who usurp authority at the home and whip their husbands:" Really, so, to whom does authority belong?
> > "Women like you" "feminist" What of sort women are we now that we cannot speak about these abuses, even, if we speak from a specific position? I speak from the point of view of a woman who has seen so many (African) women abused and almost killed. Some have lost pregnacies, been damaged psychologically, and abandoned. Needless to say as you and I agree, the children suffer. The struggle is all of ours, like it or not. From you view, Mrs Wigwe wronged not only because she did not go to the inlaws or follow the traditional African way, but because she exercised some authority by exposing her husband's nakedness in public. Did the "gentle" Dr. himself not do that also in that long pity me piece? why not chide him for it?
>
> > YES, I AM A FEMINIST and choke on that if you choose! I make no apologies about this. And, it has nothing to do with the west or modernism. I was a feminsit before I encountered western feminism and so were/are generations of African women. Go read the books you claim to know. So, give that idea that western feminism or western modernism is responsible for our actions or call to be respected a rest!
>
> > Really, I refuse to indulge you. I am truly glad that you are aware that many Nigerian women have been killed here in the US by their spouses and that we should be concerned--my point exactly. Do something. Stop standing at the door to watch it happen only to say why not ask the man why he is killing his wife. I do not know how to justify blaming the victim of spousal abuse for the abuse. If a man is angry at his wife or spouse, he does not have the right to beat her and neither does a woman have the right to beat her spouse either. If a man turns to another woman, he does not have the right to beat or kill the one he left. And, shame on you for simply holding women accountable for some men's infidelity. I am tired of hearing that Eve made Adam eat the apple. Does Adam have any brains? Enough or wake up!
>
> > And, as for you, speak your mind as will I. Not even your vilification has the power to silence me. I choose to speak or remain silent when I wish.
> > Thanks.
>
> > Maureen N. Eke, Ph.D. (Proud African woman, feminist, scholar, author and of no book awards)
> > Dept. of English
>
> > AN 240
>
> > Central Michigan University
>
> > Mt. Pleasant, MI 48859
>
> > direct: 989-774-1087
>
> > main: 989-774-3117
>
> > fax: 989-774-1271
>
> > ________________________________________
> > From: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com [usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com] on behalf of E.S. Etuk [emi...@yahoo.com]
> > Sent: Tuesday, June 07, 2011 6:47 PM
> > To: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
> > Subject: RE: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Wigwe: Why I beat my wife
>
> > Dear Dr. Maureen Ngozi Eke,
>
> > I will not pretend, as you did, to hold my tongue. Your biased writeup made me so angry that I have had to engage in this self-disclosure.
>
> > Did they not teach you that in writing on any subject, you ought to subdue your personal and subjective feelings and try to be as objective as you can possibly be? For many years, I have known some MEN who are abused by their marital spouses verbally, mentally,psychologically and physically.
>
> > My pastor refers to them as women who usurp authority at the home and whip their husbands. Embarrassed, the men are forced to remain quiet, subdued, introvertish, and unduly tolerant. Women like you who jump to defend every case of domestic abuse as originating and perpetrated by the men don't seem to care that there are men who are suffering and have suffered a lot in silence. Western modernism is, of course, to blame.
>
> > Women never do wrong because we men committed the sin to choose them as our partners only to find out the mistake we made by marrying them in the first place. The only mistake which Dr. Wigwe made was to have married that silly, shameless, termagant, that ranting crazy bastard who had no shame in molesting anyone publicly because of her incurable jealous spirit. Was she to have been a self-respecting, sweet, woman, the kind exemplified in the book of Proverbs 31, we would all be condemning Dr. Wigwe.
>
> > What annoys me most is that feminists like you never ask what led to the battering? You outrightly condemn the men without paying any heed to the years of incessant abuse by a female batterer. You do not care if the man was so mistreated that he had a stroke, stress, or high-blood pressure. You find solace in using your vagina to torture men and expect them not to fight back. The tragedy is that the children are the poor victims of these dysfunctional homes and, once the woman is enraged, she cares less what would happen to the children.
>
> > Dr. Eke, you ought to be fair to admit that you did not reside with the Wigwe family and can never know completely what transpired within the inner chambers of their home. Mrs. Wigwe, like many so-called modern women, has destroyed her man, his career, and whatever pride the children would have. She went public instead of following the African traditional means of conflict resolution. She did not complain to the parents and family of Dr. Wigwe. She took matters into her own hands. And, did you care to read the testimony of Junior Wigwe against her mother?
>
> > Have you not read of many Nigerian women murdered here in the United States? Do you think we men are happy about such tragedies? But, does anyone ever take the time to ask what led the men to kill their wives. All we here is often the story from the woman's side. It never occurs to many women that in any case of infidelity, adultry, prostitution, and cheating, it takes another willing WOMAN for a man to commit the offense.
>
> > I am really offended by the blatant one-sidedness of your writeup and state that it were better you kept shut as you claimed. Do a research on the MEN WHO HAVE BEEN ABUSED BY WOMEN since the emergence of Western style of FEMINISM and you will be shocked at their pains and misery. This is my challenge to YOU!
>
> > E.S. Etuk, Ph.D
> > AWARD-WINNING Author of 14 books.
>
> > --
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