By
La Vonda R. Staples
I never meant to give the impression that the fault lies solely in
the laps (or loins) of men. That was not my intention. I am the
mother of sons and I have seen them cry real, soul breaking, almost
unending tears over the words and deeds of women. Girls. Ladies.
Females is more accurate because there is no specificity of species in
the designation of "female." Females have ruined the tender male
heart and it is no wonder that men have countered the rotation with
schemes of their own.
My sons have been told that they're not Black enough. This generally
means that the woman is looking for a thug. My sons are capable of
acting like thugs and even committing the actions of thugs but at
heart? Both of them are very romantic and kind individuals. But, as
Black men, there is an expectation of a certain level of cruelty and
it seems that cruelty has become synonymous with masculinity. The
female rotation requires that all players or those who will be played,
stick to their determined roles with alarming lock-step precision.
The female rotation consists of a "friend" who is willing to pay for
small things such as dinners, club fees, and sometimes parking
tickets. This one has no expectation of any kind of repayment. She
uses this man because he's too unattractive, too slow, or doesn't have
enough self-respect to demand better treatment. He's happy to breathe
her air; to be allowed permission to stick around.
The guy who pays for the big ticket items is the one who grudgingly
is allowed sexual contact. He's the guy who is more than likely
horribly inept in bed but quite adept at making money. He doesn't
mind spending it because he is also gaining something more than sexual
satisfaction – he gets to be the one who claims her body (or so he is
allowed to believe). If he took one second to sit down and calculate
the costs? He would be better off with a wife who respects him. He's
not getting and he will never receive fair value for his money. He
receives a body, lain prone on her back, and permission to do whatever
he wants or whatever she makes him think she wants. The female should
get an Oscar and a Grammy for her performances with this member of the
rotation.
Every female rotation involves a maintenance man. This is the guy
who stops by just to give her some relief, if only for an hour, from
her part-time prostitution. Their sex is protracted and can be quite
akin to some sort of violence. In order to simply possess a rotation
the woman has to put herself on auto-pilot. She cannot feel or else
she wouldn't lead the first one on and she wouldn't take the second
one's money. The maintenance man's entire reason for being is to
remind her that she's still alive and not entirely crafted from
concrete.
Then there is the dream man. The man who more than likely gets lied
to the most. The female who creates her rotation, like any woman or
girl, wants a secure partner and this most often is encapsulated in
the word, "husband." This man? Oh, he gets the grandest show since
the creation of the Titanic! When he comes over the house is always
clean. She is always, every Sunday, to his knowledge, at church.
When he wants more than a hug or a kiss? She refuses him because he
has to learn to "respect" her. I'm laughing now just thinking of all
the ways women deceive the man they hope to "catch." They call maid
services, have friends cook cakes and pies, invent opportunities to
meet, and they even do online surfing to find out little points about
his interests. And she never, ever will admit to hating sports. That
is, unless she's "caught" him. That's when it all falls down.
The end may not come quickly. The end may not ever come at all.
Some female rotators change their ways and become the woman they have
pretended to be. One thing is horribly obvious – men are taken
advantage. Love is stolen. Finances are misused for the petty
pleasures of this creature. All that the Korean hair sellers can
build bigger homes and send their children to better schools. And all
for nothing. The female rotation is not one typically used by women
who have learned how to take care of themselves. This is a procedure
instituted by women who have not come to the knowledge that all of
their finagling was a waste of energy – they don't gain one simple
thing other than another month in which to get the rent money, gas
bill money, or car note.
In this fact both the female and the male rotation are one and the
same inasmuch as they do not offer any advantage other than transitory
bliss. That one second of power which really doesn't amount to
anything other than deception. The greatest dupe is not the person
who is being rotated – it is the rotator him or her self. Rotations –
male and female – only prove one thing. The devil is a lie.
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the "USA-Africa Dialogue Series" moderated by Toyin Falola, University of Texas at Austin.
For current archives, visit http://groups.google.com/group/USAAfricaDialogue
For previous archives, visit http://www.utexas.edu/conferences/africa/ads/index.html
To post to this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue@googlegroups.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue-
unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
No comments:
Post a Comment