Thursday, June 27, 2013

USA Africa Dialogue Series - Bayo Olupohunda: Lamentations of a battered husband

"... he let out the tale of woes his new marriage had become.

"Bros, where have you been? I have been on the look-out for you. You see, I hardly make friends. But I see you as somebody I can confide in. My marriage has been hell and my wife is trouble personified. She has been violent since the first day we were pronounced husband and wife." He paused and looked around to see if anyone was eavesdropping on us. "We did not court for a long time. But even in those few months of our courtship, I noticed she was very aggressive. She once slapped a cashier over a small matter. She also slapped me once and I once narrowly escaped being bathed with hot water but I never took it seriously then. Each time she goes into a rage, I quickly forgive her. In the last one year, she has fought me many times over flimsy arguments. The last time, she slapped me in the presence of our friends at a party. The other day, when we got into an argument, one of the many we had had, she sliced my arm with a razor."

He unfolded his shirt to reveal a deep but a stitched scar that ran through his shoulder to his wrist. It was scary. He went on, now almost sobbing. "I really do not know what to do as I am very scared of her violent mood swings. Her weapons include hot water, boiling soup and kitchen knife which she throws at me like missiles. She has destroyed every gadget in the house. When she is calm, she would break down in my arms, and cry profusely. I have forgiven her many times when I look into her eyes because I really love her. What should I do now? Things have become even more complicated now that she is pregnant with our first baby."

He proceeded to show me deep scars of teeth bites, nail scratches and injury marks; results of months of violence their marriage had become. It was unbelievable. Now, he has taken to drinking. We returned and both took our turns to have the haircut that had brought us to the hairdresser's in the first place. Later, we ended up in a bar where he quickly drowned two bottles of beer. I did not know what to say. Third party advice in marriage is always a tricky one. I watched him as he drowned one glass of chilled lager after the other.

He looked pathetic."
http://www.punchng.com/opinion/lamentations-of-a-battered-husband/

Bayo Olupohunda in Lamentations of a battered husband. Kudos to Bayo for addressing a hidden shame all over the world.
 
- Ikhide
 
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