Sunday, July 30, 2017

Re: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Re: Portrait of a Nigerian Marriage in a Heartbreaking Debut Novel Books By MICHIKO KAKUTANI

I am completely jealous of your having the time to read. I’m going to be joining you, inchshallah, in 2 months, with my retirement and I hope to refind the rhythm of my life with reading stuff besides class materials, besides grading, or preparing for class, or even for some key point on a paper, or someone’s tenure file, or someone’s application for a job…. it’s nice to learn about other people’s work. But the pleasure of reading all the b ooks you mention, funmi, has been so long deferred it is almost a guilty memory

Kenneth Harrow

Dept of English and Film Studies

Michigan State University

619 Red Cedar Rd

East Lansing, MI 48824


From: usaafricadialogue <> on behalf of Funmi Tofowomo Okelola <>
Reply-To: usaafricadialogue <>
Date: Sunday, 30 July 2017 at 02:15
To: usaafricadialogue <>
Subject: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Re: Portrait of a Nigerian Marriage in a Heartbreaking Debut Novel Books By MICHIKO KAKUTANI


I need to hide my face. I never heard of Kakutani until Twitter went ballistic about her departure from NYT as a reviewer. 

Usually, I read a book, and then move on to the next one on my list. I don't read book reviews. Why?  Why do I have to allow a reviewer to spoil the adventure for me? If I don't like a book, after 50 pages, I'll put it in a pile for Salvation Army. It's my choice and it's my money. I don't need anyone to tell me what books to read. It's my choice to read a book or not to read a book. 

If I like a book after reading it, then, I'll post it on my website. 

Whenever I post a book review, I'll stop reading after the summary. I don't need anyone to spoil the fun of discovery for me. I prefer to make my own my mistake. 

Personally, reading a book is about discovering the unknown. It's truly a joy to discover new writers without the assistance of a reviewer. For example, I stumbled on Clarice Lispector, Junichiro Tanizaki, Can Xue, Abellah Taia, Orikuchi Shinobu, John Keene, Osama Alomar, Andres Neuman, Yukio Mishima et al., without reading a reviewer subjectiveness. 

I'm currently reading Traveler of the Century by Andrés Neumantranslated by Nick Caistor (Translator) and Lorenza Garcia (Translator). Seriously, I'm slowly reading this book and I don't want it to end. I love the protagonist, Hans, who is stuck in Wandernburg on his way...I'm not going to spoil the story by revealing the essence of it. 

Prof, enjoy the rest of your weekend. I'm heading out to see The Ghost Story at the Film House in Claremont. 


Funmi Tofowomo Okelola

-In the absence of greatness, mediocrity thrives.

On Twitter: @Bookwormlit

On Instagram: Aramada_Obirin

Culture, Art History, Film/Cinema, Photography, World Literature, Criminal Justice, Sociology, Child Welfare, Lifestyle & Community. 

On Thursday, July 27, 2017 at 8:57:23 PM UTC-7, Funmi Tofowomo Okelola wrote:

Portrait of a Nigerian Marriage in a Heartbreaking Debut Novel


The two narrators of Ayobami Adebayo’s stunning debut novel — a Nigerian woman named Yejide and her husband, Akin — remember the stories they heard when they were children, and they hope to pass on these stories to their own sons and daughters. They are folk tales featuring talking animals and magic potions, but while they often come with an old-fashioned moral (“He who has children owns the world”), Yejide devises her own versions, adding new bits and pieces as she goes along, turning them into allegories that speak to her own life and that of her country.

Like those fables, Adebayo’s “Stay With Me” — a beautifully produced book with a Matisse-inspired jacket that felicitously captures the spirit of the author’s writing — has a remarkable emotional resonance and depth of field. It is, at once, a gothic parable about pride and betrayal; a thoroughly contemporary — and deeply moving — portrait of a marriage; and a novel, in the lineage of great works by Chinua Achebe and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, that explores the pull in Nigeria between tradition and modernity, old definitions of masculinity and femininity, and newer imperatives of self-definition and identity.

Beginning in the 1980s, a period of political tumult in Nigeria, and moving on through 2008, “Stay With Me” fluently explores the interface between the personal and the political, and the precariousness of stability and safety in both realms: how public events — be they elections, protests or coups — take place while people are getting on with their daily lives, eating or opening a window, fighting with a spouse or taking care of a sick child; how dreams, ideals and romantic relationships can be shaped by distant but momentous developments on the national stage.

Adebayo — who was born in Lagos, Nigeria, and who studied with Adichie and Margaret Atwood — has two master’s degrees in creative writing, and “Stay With Me” is deeply informed by a knowledge of contemporary and classic literature.

Continue reading the main story

But while readers may pick up on this novel’s many allusions and borrowings (for instance, its nods to Gillian Flynn’s “Gone Girl” and Lauren Groff’s “Fates and Furies,” in creating a stereoscopic portrait of a marriage), “Stay With Me” feels entirely fresh, thanks to its author’s ability to map tangled familial relationships with nuance and precision, and her intimate understanding of her characters’ yearnings, fears and self-delusions.

Ayobami Adebayo CreditPixels Digital 

“Stay With Me” pivots around a series of secrets Akin has kept from his wife — and the terrible, unspooling consequences those secrets will have on their marriage, and on the life of Akin’s importunate brother Dotun. The novel’s one flaw is that it’s hard for the reader to believe that Yejide, however naïve she might be, would not have immediately grasped the first of Akin’s lies, but Adebayo’s orchestration of the emotional chain reaction set off by those deceptions is so assured that this stumbling block is soon forgotten.

Akin tells us that he loved Yejide from the moment he met her, but four years of childless marriage blunted his belief that “love could do anything”: “If the burden is too much and stays too long, even love bends, cracks, comes close to breaking and sometimes does break. But even when it’s in a thousand pieces around your feet, that doesn’t mean it’s no longer love.”

When they married, both Yejide and Akin said no to polygamy, but as years pass without a child, their relatives insist that Akin take a second wife, Funmi. Yejide is told to accept Funmi as a “younger sister,” a “friend,” a “daughter.” Akin’s mother cruelly says: “Women manufacture children and if you can’t you are just a man. Nobody should call you a woman.” She goes on: “We are not asking you to stand up from your place in his life, we are just saying you should shift so that someone else can sit down.”

Yejide, whose own mother died in childbirth, becomes desperate to have a baby. She gets hospital tests, and the names of doctors, pastors and herbalists. In one sad, comic sequence, she treks up the “Mountain of Jaw-Dropping Miracles” to visit a healer named Prophet Josiah, who has her dance with a white goat she’s dragged to the summit as his chanting followers swarm her. She soon believes she’s pregnant, despite doctors’ insistence that there is no baby.

These events are recounted with a mix of sympathy, humor and suspense, but as the novel progresses, it shifts into a more minor key, as Yejide does become pregnant, only to face the prospect of sickle cell disease in her children. Instead of bringing the couple closer together, this fear accelerates the fissures in their marriage, as Yejide realizes that Akin has withheld painful truths from her from the start — that she had refused to see “things standing in plain view.” It’s a realization that forces her to question traditional attitudes toward women in Nigeria — including the primacy of motherhood and deference toward their husbands — and to try to sort out her own expectations from those she’s inherited from her family and society.

Adebayo, who is 29, is an exceptional storyteller. She writes not just with extraordinary grace but with genuine wisdom about love and loss and the possibility of redemption. She has written a powerfully magnetic and heartbreaking book.

Follow Michiko Kakutani on Twitter: @michikokakutani

Stay With Me
By Ayobami Adebayo
260 pages. Alfred A. Knopf. $25.95.

Funmi Tofowomo Okelola

-In the absence of greatness, mediocrity thrives.

On Twitter: @Bookwormlit

On Instagram: Aramada_Obirin

Culture, Art History, Film/Cinema, Photography, World Literature, Criminal Justice, Sociology, Child Welfare, Lifestyle & Community. 

Listserv moderated by Toyin Falola, University of Texas at Austin
To post to this group, send an email to
To subscribe to this group, send an email to
Current archives at
Early archives at
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "USA Africa Dialogue Series" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to
For more options, visit

No comments:

Post a Comment

Vida de bombeiro Recipes Informatica Humor Jokes Mensagens Curiosity Saude Video Games Car Blog Animals Diario das Mensagens Eletronica Rei Jesus News Noticias da TV Artesanato Esportes Noticias Atuais Games Pets Career Religion Recreation Business Education Autos Academics Style Television Programming Motosport Humor News The Games Home Downs World News Internet Car Design Entertaimment Celebrities 1001 Games Doctor Pets Net Downs World Enter Jesus Variedade Mensagensr Android Rub Letras Dialogue cosmetics Genexus Car net Só Humor Curiosity Gifs Medical Female American Health Madeira Designer PPS Divertidas Estate Travel Estate Writing Computer Matilde Ocultos Matilde futebolcomnoticias girassol lettheworldturn topdigitalnet Bem amado enjohnny produceideas foodasticos cronicasdoimaginario downloadsdegraca compactandoletras newcuriosidades blogdoarmario arrozinhoii sonasol halfbakedtaters make-it-plain amatha