With all the national chest-beating about the New Nigerian words that have just been admitted into the Oxford English Dictionary, the time is ripe for the altercation that has started about which sections of the Nigerian language groups have contributed most to the latest English Dictionary and in some circles, even more importantly, who are the "best" Nigerian English speakers?
Is should do us a world of good to take note of the Devil's Dictionary definition of Bigot
BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
On a much lighter note: For your eyes and for your amusement only:
Victor Borge: Phonetic punctuation
Speaking as an English Language analyst and language detective, I daresay that in my own personal experience in relating to homegrown Africans, including Nigerians, as far as pronunciation is concerned it would seem that the Hausa Speakers – whether from Ghana or Nigeria, are naturally closer to having a British type accent. The little dust that Baba Kadiri is trying to raise about his fellow Yoruba from Ekiti having language interference problems with sibilants, well, the same is true of Wolof speakers from Senegal and the Gambia when it comes to saying a simple word like " Church" – not that as Muslims they probably have some trepidation about merely enunciating that word, it's just that they have a general problem with sibilants and the litmus test for the Ekiti brethren too, is this little tongue twister test: she sells shells on the seashore.
( The Sierra Leone Creoles speak both English and Krio with a very pronounced French " R", whereas the Mandarin Chinese love the "L" sound - "L – as in "love" but have some difficulty with the "R" sound, so that "room" becomes "loom" - but with a little practice they overcome that impediment. As the saying goes, amor vincit omnia (love overcomes all difficulties) When it comes to language interference Swedes for example usually have problems with some of the prepositions - " I came to Kano for two days ago " is a typical Swedish construct in which the preposition " for " is transferred from Swedish into English, to express the same meaning.
The Sephardim and the Ashkenazi have their differences when it comes to the pronunciation of the liturgy in the Holy Hebrew language; the transliterations in the Siddur accentuate their differences. From the Sephardim point of view, the Ashkenazi have imported their peculiar German and Yiddish pronunciation into the Holy tongue. The good news is that the Almighty understands and forgives the various infelicities of speech.
More seriously, while we still have time down here on earth before COVID-19 or some other genocidal calamity sweeps us all away to the Hereafter and whatever awaits us after that, there, I think that there must be some means by which we should be able to determine which individual and which ethnic group in Nigeria, is best at speaking Her Majesty The Queen's English. After all, when we bear in mind that English has been the Official Language of the Federal Republic Nigeria since Nigeria attained Independence in 1960, the importance of that Language should not be underestimated. It is the language of The Law and of the Holy Nigerian Constitution, it's the language of governance and good government; it's the language of good or bad grammar, pronunciation, and understanding.
If Boko Haram have their way, who knows, at a future date it could be replaced by Arabic, the language of the Holy Quran.
Indeed, at a future date the Queen's English could be replaced or displaced by Swahili as the Pan-African language, the official language of the United States of Africa. Who knows? It could even be replaced by Yoruba, Hausa or Fulani. If the upstart "I. go. Before. others" Igbos start agitating that they want their mother tongue to reign supreme and be adopted as the official language of the Federal Republic, they shall probably either all be drowned in that Lagos lagoon or they could voluntarily set off to some other place to start their Republic of Biafra somewhere else, maybe start a little colony in neighbouring Cameroon.
In the meantime, this much should be clear: We can't go on arguing forever, in the very language that we are disputing about. There must be a way of finally settling this palaver, for once and for all. We could take the matter to court, if you like, all the way up to the Privy Council, on condition that the litigants will accept the final judgment of those appointed as judges by Her Majesty's Sanitary Language inspectors, a turn of phrase I got from one Kayode Robbin-Coker ( a cousin) and that's what he does for a living - he is one of Her Majesty's Sanitary Language Inspectors, over there ina Ingland.
As senior counsel representing the plaintiffs from the East, I should recommend Emeka Anyaoku – because of the characteristic, measured authoritarian air about him, and I should recommend that he be assisted by one Obododimma Oha, distinguished professor of rhetoric , Cultural Semiotics and English stylistics. They can quote from their gods the great Igbo writers all day long, if they choose to prove to buttress their claims by doing so.
I would suggest that Professor Malami Buba , a man of balance and discretion represent the Far North , assisted by the one and only Professor Farooq Kperogi, certified as "an authority on English and on language" by one no less than Professor Kenneth Harrow, author of " Trash: African Cinema from Below"
So, who should represent the Yoruba? I know that Baba Kadiri would like to quote all day long from Daniel O. Fagunwa and the pantheon of Yoruba Literature – only to be kindly re-minded that it's the Buckingham Palace English that we're talking about. Those who would like to vanquish our Yoruba would much prefer that we only quote from Amos Tutuola, all day long. They should remember Bishop Krister Stendhal's rules 2 and 3:
(2) Don't compare your best to their worst.
(3) Leave room for "holy envy.
As to leaving some room for" holy envy". there's plenty of room to speculate about who should represent the West and the South.
If Sierra Leone was to enter into the competition and we would have to start quoting from some published works, I should recommend that we start with the very latest and that's what I'm redoing right now: John Edward Bankole Jones : A Mother's Dilemma
--Many private messages have been sent that Southerners are mocking Northerners over language and accents. And some have been posted with one going viral.
Haba! When Kperogi was talking about verbs and nouns, you all forget that he is not an Igbo man. I don't know that verbs and nouns now have colors.
Haba! When someone says a letter emanating from a state house, a paid media communicator with a degree, is badly written, what as being Kanuri or Hausa go to do with this?
Haba! Have you not heard Gowon speak? Or he speaks well because he is not a Hausaman? Do you not know of a man called "the golden voice of Africa?" Tafawa Balewa, Nigeria's first prime minister!
Haba! Let me show you the recorded Keynote Address by Malami Buba, my Fulani friend; or the writings of Aisha Bawa, my Fulani friend; or of Bunza, my Fulani friend; or Ashafa, my Kaduna friend; or Bishop Kukah, the Zangon-Kataf man. Are they not better than many of the so-called southerners?
Haba! Everything is not about resource control or federal character.
Haba! This nonsense must stop today.
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