Friends, as you know, the human experience is a mixed bag, encompassing the good and the ugly. The thoughtful questions posed by Dr. Oluwatoyin Adepoju are in order. In our sinful world, can individuals be falsely accused even by relatives? You bet, it happens. Do both men and women engage in domestic disputes? You bet, disputes happen, but not all the time. No human relationship is perfect, and anyone who claims perfection in his/her own relationships is self-evidently fake. The African cultural universe embraces its own sense of due process and requires a methodical adjudication of claims by both a plaintiff and a defendant before a verdict of guilty or innocence is rendered. So, the legal principle that an accused should be deemed innocent until proven guilty is not an exclusive Western jurisprudential expectation. I presume that each one of us expects this right of presumption of innocence until proven guilty to be extended to us if we ever get entangled in the judicial system. "Nobody knows tomorrow," reads a common note of wisdom that we often see on the external frames of public transportation buses that traverse our bustling cities.
An age-old adage says that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. We should, at all times, not sometimes, unreservedly extend to others, rights which we believe we are entitled to. And so, anyone on this forum who subscribes to the universal principle that a person must be presumed innocent until proven guilty should deem Ngugi Wa Thiong'O innocent of any and all accusations leveled against him by whomever during his earthly sojourn, given that the said accusations were not subjected to the scrutiny of due process. That said, one thing is for certain: each of us will ultimately answer to our Creator, the owner of our lives, for how we led our earthly lives.
"I myself do not judge a man [or a woman] by the color of his [or her] skin. The yardstick that I use to judge a man [or a woman] is his [ or her] deeds, his [her] behavior, and his [or her] intentions." -- Malcolm X.
--Ngugi's Son's Accusation of His Father and the Burden of TruthThe great writer Ngugi's son publicly accused his father of being physically violent against his mother and people have taken him on his word.Why?Must it be factual because the man was his father?What do we know about his relationship with his father and about the tensions of their family?Why should a person be condemned just beceause a child or a spouse accuses the person?Are those family members not fallible humans too?Accusations of physical violence, often directed against men, draw outrage, and rightly so, although it should also necessitate the need to investigate the accusation, and if not investigated, to be treated with caution.I also hope verbal and attitudinal violence, which women are more likely to engage in, is more subtle but perhaps equally destructive depending on context, would also inspire the same outrage, while people are encouraged not to tolerate it bcs it can become normalized in relationships, and also needs to be investigated when reported or if not investigated, managed with caution.Rape claims can be false.Domestic abuse claims can be false.My argument is that the fact that Ngugi's son claimed his father was violent does not make the claim factual.The Western legal approach to accusations is ideally "innocent until proven guilty".But when it comes to accusations against men in sexual or domestic situations it has become "guilty until proven innocent".That is a misandrist mindset, which needs to be dismantled in sensitivity to the fact the need to seek the facts and context in such situations.Secondly, bad as domestic violence is, its not the same as rape.We need to know-what are the facts?Was Ngugi actually physically violent against his wife?Then, if it can be proven he was, we also need to understand the context.What were the dynamics of his relationship with his wife?Women and men can be verbally and/ or attitudinally abusive, contributing to abusive behaviour from the other party.I consider it overstretching the case by conflating a claim of physical violence with one of rape, as a respondent to my argument did.Its also unrealistic to refuse to examine the context even in verified claims of domestic physical violence by claiming that bcs its wrong the context is irrelevant.Both partners can be abusive to each other. All forms of violence and abuse should be condemned.Bottom line- we don't know whether or not Ngugi's son is saying the truth and its unjust to take him on his word.We also need to understand the dynamics of their familyIn the absence of such info what we owe the son is respectful attention not the current rush to anoint him as the truth speaker for his family.
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