Distinguished gentlemen who do not want to besmirch their bonafides in polite company have found a new pejorative to replace "bitch," it's called "feminist." Any woman who chooses to have an opinion and express it freely of her own volition is a "feminist" never mind that the woman in question self identifies as a feminist or not. It has now become a word used by some, to discipline and silence "open-eye" African women.
It is worth noting that while Dr. Etuk admonishes you not to take sides, he, in turn, has no qualms about describing Mrs. Wigwe derogatorily as: "silly, shameless, termagant, that ranting crazy bastard..." talk about masculinist indulgence!
Saludos,
joan.Osa Oviawe
On Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 5:24 PM, Eke, Maureen Ngozi <eke1mn@cmich.edu> wrote:
Dear "E.S. Etuk, Ph.D" of "AWARD-WINNING Author of 14 books" who can not hold his tongue, arrogance and partiality either. I did not claim that I was being objective in my piece. And, my piece simply states that Dr. Wigwe's narrative cannot be read as "nothing but the truth." Do you really know what objectivity and self disclosure are? Why not clean up your nose before picking mine!
Yes, men are abused and even killed by women. Men have also been raped by other men and possibly women. All of these are violations which no one in their right mind should accept. So, you want to tell me that because a man has been verbally or psychologicaly battered, he has the right to beat up his wife or another woman. By the way, one form or level of abuse does not become the correction for another. I abhor violence of any kind regardless of who experiencs it.
You are angry and so you have chosen to resort to the very attitude about which I spoke--name calling and vilification.
Listen to your very own language:
"women who usurp authority at the home and whip their husbands:" Really, so, to whom does authority belong?
"Women like you" "feminist" What of sort women are we now that we cannot speak about these abuses, even, if we speak from a specific position? I speak from the point of view of a woman who has seen so many (African) women abused and almost killed. Some have lost pregnacies, been damaged psychologically, and abandoned. Needless to say as you and I agree, the children suffer. The struggle is all of ours, like it or not. From you view, Mrs Wigwe wronged not only because she did not go to the inlaws or follow the traditional African way, but because she exercised some authority by exposing her husband's nakedness in public. Did the "gentle" Dr. himself not do that also in that long pity me piece? why not chide him for it?
YES, I AM A FEMINIST and choke on that if you choose! I make no apologies about this. And, it has nothing to do with the west or modernism. I was a feminsit before I encountered western feminism and so were/are generations of African women. Go read the books you claim to know. So, give that idea that western feminism or western modernism is responsible for our actions or call to be respected a rest!
Really, I refuse to indulge you. I am truly glad that you are aware that many Nigerian women have been killed here in the US by their spouses and that we should be concerned--my point exactly. Do something. Stop standing at the door to watch it happen only to say why not ask the man why he is killing his wife. I do not know how to justify blaming the victim of spousal abuse for the abuse. If a man is angry at his wife or spouse, he does not have the right to beat her and neither does a woman have the right to beat her spouse either. If a man turns to another woman, he does not have the right to beat or kill the one he left. And, shame on you for simply holding women accountable for some men's infidelity. I am tired of hearing that Eve made Adam eat the apple. Does Adam have any brains? Enough or wake up!
And, as for you, speak your mind as will I. Not even your vilification has the power to silence me. I choose to speak or remain silent when I wish.
Thanks.
Maureen N. Eke, Ph.D. (Proud African woman, feminist, scholar, author and of no book awards)
Dept. of English
AN 240
direct: 989-774-1087
Central Michigan University
Mt. Pleasant, MI 48859
main: 989-774-3117
fax: 989-774-1271
________________________________________
From: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com [usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com] on behalf of E.S. Etuk [emida1@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 07, 2011 6:47 PM
To: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.comDear Dr. Maureen Ngozi Eke,
Subject: RE: USA Africa Dialogue Series - Wigwe: Why I beat my wife
I will not pretend, as you did, to hold my tongue. Your biased writeup made me so angry that I have had to engage in this self-disclosure.
Did they not teach you that in writing on any subject, you ought to subdue your personal and subjective feelings and try to be as objective as you can possibly be? For many years, I have known some MEN who are abused by their marital spouses verbally, mentally,psychologically and physically.
My pastor refers to them as women who usurp authority at the home and whip their husbands. Embarrassed, the men are forced to remain quiet, subdued, introvertish, and unduly tolerant. Women like you who jump to defend every case of domestic abuse as originating and perpetrated by the men don't seem to care that there are men who are suffering and have suffered a lot in silence. Western modernism is, of course, to blame.
Women never do wrong because we men committed the sin to choose them as our partners only to find out the mistake we made by marrying them in the first place. The only mistake which Dr. Wigwe made was to have married that silly, shameless, termagant, that ranting crazy bastard who had no shame in molesting anyone publicly because of her incurable jealous spirit. Was she to have been a self-respecting, sweet, woman, the kind exemplified in the book of Proverbs 31, we would all be condemning Dr. Wigwe.
What annoys me most is that feminists like you never ask what led to the battering? You outrightly condemn the men without paying any heed to the years of incessant abuse by a female batterer. You do not care if the man was so mistreated that he had a stroke, stress, or high-blood pressure. You find solace in using your vagina to torture men and expect them not to fight back. The tragedy is that the children are the poor victims of these dysfunctional homes and, once the woman is enraged, she cares less what would happen to the children.
Dr. Eke, you ought to be fair to admit that you did not reside with the Wigwe family and can never know completely what transpired within the inner chambers of their home. Mrs. Wigwe, like many so-called modern women, has destroyed her man, his career, and whatever pride the children would have. She went public instead of following the African traditional means of conflict resolution. She did not complain to the parents and family of Dr. Wigwe. She took matters into her own hands. And, did you care to read the testimony of Junior Wigwe against her mother?
Have you not read of many Nigerian women murdered here in the United States? Do you think we men are happy about such tragedies? But, does anyone ever take the time to ask what led the men to kill their wives. All we here is often the story from the woman's side. It never occurs to many women that in any case of infidelity, adultry, prostitution, and cheating, it takes another willing WOMAN for a man to commit the offense.
I am really offended by the blatant one-sidedness of your writeup and state that it were better you kept shut as you claimed. Do a research on the MEN WHO HAVE BEEN ABUSED BY WOMEN since the emergence of Western style of FEMINISM and you will be shocked at their pains and misery. This is my challenge to YOU!
E.S. Etuk, Ph.D
AWARD-WINNING Author of 14 books.
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the "USA-Africa Dialogue Series" moderated by Toyin Falola, University of Texas at Austin.
For current archives, visit http://groups.google.com/group/USAAfricaDialogue
For previous archives, visit http://www.utexas.edu/conferences/africa/ads/index.html
To post to this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue@googlegroups.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue-
unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the "USA-Africa Dialogue Series" moderated by Toyin Falola, University of Texas at Austin.
For current archives, visit http://groups.google.com/group/USAAfricaDialogue
For previous archives, visit http://www.utexas.edu/conferences/africa/ads/index.html
To post to this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue@googlegroups.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue-
unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the "USA-Africa Dialogue Series" moderated by Toyin Falola, University of Texas at Austin.
For current archives, visit http://groups.google.com/group/USAAfricaDialogue
For previous archives, visit http://www.utexas.edu/conferences/africa/ads/index.html
To post to this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue@googlegroups.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to USAAfricaDialogue-
unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
No comments:
Post a Comment