The experience has not in any way inhibited my sexuality, identity or intelligence. However, we are not made of the same strength and our process of reacting to situations within and around us differs.
To Prof Mbaku, I do not sanction FGM. My position is that we do not need the west to direct or dictate what is right or wrong. Even when what is wrong seem to persist, there is a natural process called change that will overcome the nihilistic dogmas of our time. I would like to believe that my father would not have mutilated us, based on his high level of education and exposure, but for the pressure of tradition. The interesting fact is that the pressure came from women in our society and the notion is that they were protecting us.
I empathize with the less fortunate, who have been psychologically scared or died in the process. I argue that our people will continue to resist this argument if it is perceived to come from the west. What is required right now is how to reach the core and remote communities and communicate this objection to them in their linguistic and cultural terms. How do we deal with it without the feeling of exclusion which is tearing Nigeria, as an instance, apart: north against south and east against west and north and Islam against Christianity?
Note: I never had to do it to my child. I respect the individuality of my child.
Ofure O. M. Aito (PhD) (University of Lagos)
Department of English and Communications
College of Humanities
Redeemer's University, Mowe
Ogun State, Nigeria
On Oct 29, 2014 12:53 PM, "Assensoh, Akwasi B." <aassenso@indiana.edu> wrote:
-- My questions: So, please, did that circumcision take anything away from you, like pleasure of sex, etc.? Please, tell us, as I am appalled to my last breath! Years ago, I knew a young woman, who had been circumcised or mutilated; she was very frigid, to say the least! What about you, Sister Ofure?
A.B. Assensoh, Oregon.
________________________________________
From: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com [usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com] on behalf of ofure aito [ofureaito@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2014 2:57 AM
To: usaafricadialogue@googlegroups.com
Subject: RE: USA Africa Dialogue Series - RE: Tireless campaigner against FGM dies in London
May I add my voice by sharing my experience on FGM conversation. First, I understand the position of Mr/Dr/Prof Kadiri and Samuel as well as Prof Mbaku's strong opposing position. I was genitally mutilated in what is called 'circumcision' at age 5 along with my elder sister at age 8. I recall a middle aged woman coming to our house one late afternoon and asking my mum to buy her new razors. Thereafter, my sister was taken to the bathroom. When she returned she walked astride. I worried and was transfixed by the way she walked after a simple visit to the bathroom. I didn't understand what was happening but within me I said I will not go to the bathroom. So I went to our room and hid under the bed, in fear and rejection of walking like my sister. My father came to lure me out to the bathroom where I was given my 'skin cut' and walked like my sister. When I returned to the living room I overheard our neighbor's son in our house explaining to my brother the reason why were walking like that was because we had just been circumcised. The point in this recall is that, I was born in the city and grew in the city, yet my parents felt it was necessary, even when I was already conscious of my environment. My parents never explained. My understanding came from what the neighbour said.
I do not subscribe to fgm or circumcision, but I wonder how much damage that has cost women in African societies since the 60s to date in terms of diseases and sexual deprivation? Our arguments usually take cue from western prompting. The symbolic sexual control it is expected to pose has not limited women's potentials in so many areas of self achievements and actualization (even in the precolonial that the practice was strongest and a thing of pride, women were leaders, partake in policy making, decision makers at home, during war and peace). Even promiscuity has never been affected or controlled, because in my growing up days we hear about women: married or single, who were described as 'wayward', putting it mildly. It has not stagnated women and their identity, sexuality and sensuality.
From my experience, the change in the 21st century like Prof Mbaku clamour for is subjective and dependent on individual choices. My parents did not choose to do what they did until we were almost in our teens.
I stand on the argument that it is a societal tradition, not culture that may have outlived its implication, especially, in the age of technological consciousness. The interpretation and practice are subjective but the age-old view is to control women's sexual power and identity vis-a-viz male dominance. Has this actually been the case. Another point is that change is a natural, evolutionary process (Darwinian law) that must come. Whether, we clamour for it or not some of these anachronistic and 'perverse' practices will become obsolete and without people necessarily demanding the change. Even the culture of piercing and tattooing in the west as fad is fading.
And I do agree with Samuel that until the west has given a name and approval, Africa does not come up with her on opinionated view. For instance, the issue breastfeeding in the 70s was disdained by the west in order to sell baby formular and now, exclusive breastfeeding for at least six months is ideal. Africa is the dump site of various ideological tests and we Africans do not see anything good done in, by or come out of Africa.
Ofure
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